The Collapse of Parenting [Book Review]

Leonard Sax’s The Collapse of Parenting offers a thought-provoking critique of modern child-rearing practices, highlighting a shift in authority and priorities that has left children more fragile, anxious, and less prepared for adulthood than previous generations.

Sax argues that in the quest to be more democratic and “cool”, many parents have abdicated their leadership role, leading to a troubling erosion of respect, resilience, and self-discipline in children. Children today often choose what’s for supper; they choose which social media they will engage; they often choose their bedtime and sometimes even their school.

This book serves as both a wake-up call and a guide for caregivers and educators seeking to reverse these trends and restore balance.

One of Sax’s central points is that the devaluation of parental authority has allowed peer culture to dominate children's lives. Rather than looking to adults for guidance, children are increasingly influenced by their peers, who lack the maturity and wisdom needed to navigate complex life challenges. This peer-orientation, Sax asserts, contributes to a rise in mental health issues, declining academic performance, and a pervasive sense of entitlement. His insights are bolstered by compelling examples and studies that reveal how this phenomenon is not just anecdotal but a systemic issue across Western societies.

Sax doesn’t just diagnose the problem; he offers practical solutions. He emphasises the importance of reasserting parental authority with compassion and consistency, encouraging parents to set clear boundaries, enforce rules, and prioritise shared family values over fleeting societal trends. He also challenges the overreliance on technology, advocating for limiting screen time and encouraging face-to-face interactions that foster empathy and communication skills. For educators, Sax underscores the need to align with parents in reinforcing these principles, creating a united front that promotes character development alongside academic success.

Perhaps the most striking aspect of The Collapse of Parenting is Sax’s call to reintroduce a sense of purpose and moral grounding in raising children. He stresses that instilling values such as humility, gratitude, and respect can counteract the cultural obsession with individualism and superficial achievement. By reconnecting with these timeless principles, Sax argues, caregivers and educators can nurture a generation that is not only more resilient but also better equipped to lead fulfilling, meaningful lives.

This book is a must-read for anyone concerned about the well-being of today’s youth. Sax’s blend of research, real-world examples, and actionable advice makes The Collapse of Parenting a powerful resource for reversing the trends of fragility and fostering a healthier, more grounded future for children.

Last Updated on 3 January 2025

Stephen Yeo

Proud father of two lovely kids, who at times pushed me to seriously consider editing out the word “lovely” from this sentence. (I am not alone in this.)